How My Biggest Mistake Became A Pivot for Growth

My previous post  You Can’t Make People Feel Stupid dealt with ways leaders can effectively deal with accountability. This piece is how you hold yourself accountable. I never did like getting in trouble. One, because I didn’t want people upset with me; and two, because I pretty much was a perfectionist from the beginning.  That is a very dangerous road on which to travel because you always feel you have to give the appearance of getting it right: a pretty big burden to carry which leads to an insane amount of stress. Most of my early bosses either ignored me when I made mistakes or were brutal in addressing any inadequacies I had; both strategies made me feel either unimportant, small or ashamed. The game-changer for me happened when I was in the corporate world as a newly hired learning and development manager. The industry was new to me, and I had a huge learning curve. As can happen in the pressure cooker of a corporate environment, I dropped the ball on a major component of my job. It should have cost me my job because it cost the company thousands of dollars in penalties and my boss’s boss had to spend time in court. This is how it played out. I got a call on a Sunday morning (highly unusual) from my boss who told me there was a serious situation, and I needed to meet him in his office that afternoon. I knew something was terribly wrong and I immediately went to cya mode even though I didn’t know what I did. We met, and he told...

You Can’t Make People Feel Stupid

I’m preparing a presentation on accountability for a group of CPAs and it has me thinking why we have not done a better job increasing accountability in the workplace. This topic is still one of the most requested needs from my clients. I have found that leaders typically react with a bias to action and sense of urgency to ‘fix the problem’  instead of giving room for people to grow and change.  Strategies for holding people accountable range from the most severe “I am the hammer, you are the nail’ style of accountability to milk toast conversations that pretend to confront misaligned behavior.  The truth is most managers and leaders are woefully unskilled in creating a culture of accountability in a fashion that is productive and long-lasting. At every level, making decisions is all about managing risks which always carries with it an opportunity to miss the mark. People make mistakes.  But many leaders react as if the person is a corporate saboteur who has purposely committed the error to bring down the company! If I fail and my manager makes me feel bad/guilty/stupid; most likely my tolerance for taking risks diminishes. It means I will feel safer by taking fewer risks and work to maintain the status quo. This creates a cycle of low productivity which leads to disengagement which leads to…..you know the rest. So what does the role of a leader look like when dealing with a person who has just made a mistake?   Help the person move from looking back to looking forward. Shift the person’s thinking to how this should go in the future –...

Moving Through Failure

    Every single person on earth will  experience failure and it doesn’t matter if it was because of decisions you made or because of external factors; how you come through it depends solely on you and your attitude (that’s right, the ball is still in your court).  The key to a successful transition from failure to hope begins with 3 choices: Trust the process: you don ‘t have to know the next steps or how it is going to work out in order to move forward. Trust that good is around the corner and determine that you will outlive the rough patch. Choose to fully show up with a good attitude in all areas of life – no matter how bad you are feeling.  Continue to consider the needs of others. Don’t play the victim card. Examine your beliefs about yourself:  believing the worst about yourself will end up in a grand pity party (btw: no one wants to attend this party) Choose how you are going to present yourself and take personal responsibility to rewrite your story in the most positive light. The challenge is not to numb the pain of failure, but to re-purpose your life: this time with the wisdom gained from the failure. The perspective you need is to look at what you have already done and at the same time picture what still needs to be done. Our success oriented lifestyle can give false impressions about life and it always looks so easy when other people do it.  But, the route to of a good life  is fraught with hardship, struggle and failure....

Game Changers & Catalysts

Being in business in an era of entrepreneurship and technological innovation is so inspiring because of the opportunities to work with game-changers:  those invidividuals who fight against the status quo and push forward with big ideas and a bulldog persistence to take their ideas into reality. It’s been a privilege for me to work with many of my clients who are game -changers and catalysts. Their dreams are founded on the purpose of serving the greater good as well as ideas that inspire others to act boldly.    Though each of their journeys have been completely different, I have noticed there are certain  traits that are common to those men and women who have made  profound shifts with their ideas. Game-Changers & Catalysts: Are relentless about pursuing new ideas, potential and solutions.You won’t find them quitting after one idea: for a game-changer, it is a lifestyle. Have resilience.   Being able to bounce back after back-to-back challenges is daunting;  but it seems their grit comes from the personal meaning and purpose of their endeavor. They know how to manage through their negative emotions of doubt, disappointment and fear. I’ve noticed it’s not passion, but sheer perseverance that pulls them through the toughest of circumstances. Know how to keep their ego in check – every gamechanger I know understands that ego is their biggest enemy.  Their humility permits them to act, reflect, learn, act.  Failure and success both serve as teachers in the game-changer’s school of success as they pursue continuous growth and improvement. In order to do this, they religiously carve out white space to reflect, assess and plan....

I Dare You

The disturbing trend of all media – social, mainstream, alternative – is that it is teaching us to communicate from a negative and defensive mindset. We are learning that communication is about reacting with negative judgments  rather than responding with a mindset to respect and understand. We are creating create reactive, emotional beings who become more and more concerned about their feelings instead of problem-solvers. When you think people who disagree with you are somehow mentally inferior, that is not only wrong, it is extremely unhealthy personally and to a culture, it is dangerously destructive. Arguing, strife, stress are damaging -not just to relationships,  but to you personally, to your  brain.  Neuroscience has discovered that negative thinking over a long period of time actually causes brain damage; not to mention the destruction that takes place at the cellular level where disease begins. Here’s a good question to ask yourself when you’re tempted to jump into the ‘I have a right’ pool– what else could you have done with the time you spent fuming, despising, judging? What, if instead, you spent that time creating, solving a problem, helping a friend? The point of this post is that our current environment is ripe for game changers; for people who will step up and change the conversation for good. I dare you to make a decision to grow your critical thinking skills.  Begin by deciding to listen for understanding which opens the way for you to hear different opinions as a source of new ideas and innovation. Not only will this help you become more creative, it is a sure indicator of...

Not So Fast, Einstein – Assessing A Leader’s Strategic Thinking

Every leader believes they are strategic thinkers.  But, we all know that is not the case. One can gauge a leader’s thinking because it is  seen and heard in the attitudes and activities of the employees. We can begin our strategic thinking assessment by drawing a continuum. On the left side of the continuum is the victim mentality thinking.  This is the thinking that says ‘too many problems’; ‘can’t do anything bout it’. When leadership begins blaming and pointing fingers, this thinking goes viral and spreads to the rest of the employees rapidly. It spreads rapidly because it takes the pressure off to perform. Results:  sales drop, service wanes and staff is complacent and disengages.  In victim mentality cultures, you  might hear: ‘The problems are so big that we will do well to break even.’ ‘It’s the sales department who’s at fault.’ ‘They’re not doing their job in  marketing.’ ‘How can we expect to overcome the economic downturn?’ ‘Our target market has shifted.’ ‘They dropped the ball.’ You get the picture. Pay attention in the next few meetings – when you hear these statements being made over and over,  you’ve got the answer to the question of what kind of thinkers are our leaders? At the other end of the spectrum is the mindset that says we can do this and we can do it all and we will do it all now!  No doubt, you can describe what sort of culture forms around the ‘put out the fires now’ thinking:  highly stressed, low engagement, aversion to risk, under-performance, overwhelmed. This thinking is often disguised as strategic because there is...